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Monday, January 15, 2007

HOW THEY LOVE THE IRRATIONAL

The two posts below this are about Judas (Iscariot, though I doubt this was his real name). Here, I offer a little ditty about the depressing state of modern scholarship. Some people take to drink when they are depressed. But me, I get no kick from champagne or mere alcohol. I need a song.

This one is written to the tune of Cole Porter's "Always True To You In My Fashion" from Kiss Me, Kate. I hope he would get a little kick out of it. If I had to imagine this as part of a full-scale musical comedy, I guess the title of the play might be Kiss My Something or Other. Without further ado, here are the lyrics to "How They Love the Irrational":

If the scholars want to chat
about Judas the lousy rat,
spinning nasty lies to the wild blue skies all day,
Well, I'll always hate the irrational that's their fashion,
Yes, I'll rage against their lies and make 'em pay.

There's a mistranslated word
pinning Judas to this verb,
oh but the verb is too absurd, should be "conveyed",
But not for all those scholars who love the irrational,
Yes, I'll rage against their lies and make 'em pay.

If the priest done ripped his robe,
that's because it was a load,
before Jesus there, who else would care, to beg and pray,
But the irrational makes it into something evil,
To hell with all their lies, I'll make 'em pay.

There's a method to their bad
and it makes me very mad,
on every Jewish lad who's not a cad, they paint "Betray",
It's the thing to do when you're irrational,
So I'll rage against their lies and make 'em pay.

There's an anti-Jewish theme
in everything that scholars dream,
Oh those scholars how they'll collar innocent Jews,
They'll rope them all into the irrational,
But I'll rage against their lies and make 'em pay.

For every verse in the Gospels,
a Jewish reading is oh-so possible,
It's the one sane thing to which I cling, okay,
Cause I'm getting so sick of their irrational,
I will rage against their lies and make 'em pay.

So the scholars play it rough
making Jews the one who snuffed,
Absolving Rome while Jews are stoned and flayed,
We may admire their dedication to the irrational,
But I will rage against their lies
(Yes, he will rage against their lies)
Oh, I will rage against their lies
(Yes, he will rage against their lies)
Oh, I will rage against their lies and I'll make 'em pay!

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